Why am I so bloated?

Honestly, no — and be wary of any quiz that claims it can. What a good quiz does is rank the usual suspects by how much they feature in your week, so you test in a smart order instead of guessing. The proof only comes from your own meals: change one thing, watch what happens, repeat.

The families this quiz screens for: lactose (milk, soft cheese, ice cream), fructans (wheat, onion, garlic), GOS (beans and lentils), polyols (sugar-free sweeteners and stone fruit), excess fructose (honey, apples, juice), swallowed air (fizzy drinks, fast eating), and meal rhythm — big or late meals. Most people who bloat react to one or two of these, not all of them.

If bloating comes with severe or persistent pain, unintended weight loss, blood in your stool, fever, vomiting, or if it arrived suddenly and won’t leave — see a doctor before experimenting with your diet. This quiz is for the everyday, up-and-down kind of bloat, and it never replaces medical advice.

Because we’d be making it up. A questionnaire can’t measure your gut — it can only sort suspects into a sensible testing order. Invented precision is how people end up cutting foods they never needed to cut.